******TRIGGER WARNING DV ISSUES DISCUSSION*****
Hi folks,
This is a very unusual post for me. It is not my work but from a dear friend of mine, Julie. When I lived in Joondanna my neighbour across the road was a lovely lady (Julie). We talked on occasion and I got to know her kids, the youngest of whom is Molly. She was about a couple of years older than my elder boy Shakil. Of course your memory of little kids is always as children.
Molly was recently the victim of Domestic Violence and lost her life on 29th July 2022. This happened in America.
This is from Day 1 with Day 2 to follow hereinafter.
"𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝟭: 𝟭𝟲 𝗗𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗺 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿-𝗕𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗩𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝟮𝟱/𝟭𝟭/𝟮𝟮
Most of us, I think, want to live in a world where healthy, loving relationships flourish. We seem so far from this goal at the present time, but I believe that, together, we can build awareness around what abusive behaviours look like, what we can do to support victims and how we can help prevent perpetrators from offending, making the world we want to live in a reality.
𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙛𝙛 – 𝙖𝙗𝙪𝙨𝙚 – 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩.
But many of us will come home after a long day at work, turn on the TV to chill out and watch an episode of SVU, NCIS, or Law and Order where rape and murder are the weekly storylines. Others of us will watch reality TV, where we eagerly hang out for the next relationship drama, so we can vilify the perpetrator of some toxic behaviour.
Why it is we consider watching abuse on TV acceptable, even enjoyable but turn away from it in real life?
𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙖𝙨𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 16 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙛𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙏𝙑, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙙, 𝙩𝙤 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙.
In the following days, I will post information on what domestic abuse, specifically coercive control, looks like, what we can do to support victims and what we can do to stop perpetrators.
I will show you the messages sent to Molly. Except for some minor spelling and grammar amendments, they are word for word what Molly received on her phone. Most were sent to her in the last 2 weeks of her life. They are shocking. They are heartbreaking. But they are so necessary to see.
I will also show you messages between Molly and me, from the last 6 months. These demonstrate the strong bond we had and show the support she desperately needed. More importantly, though, they give colour to the life she was leading, how amazingly strong she was and why she found it so difficult to leave.
One in four women experiences domestic abuse. One woman a week dies at the hands of their abuser. One in five suicides is because of domestic abuse. Police attend over 🆂🅸🆇 🅷🆄🅽🅳🆁🅴🅳 domestic abuse callouts 🅴🅲🅷 🅳🆈. Mind blown – 𝙎𝙄𝙓 𝙃𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙍𝙀𝘿, 𝙀𝘼𝘾𝙃 𝘿𝘼𝙔.
Whether we like it or not WE ALL ARE, OR KNOW, A VICTIM OR PERPETRATOR. They are all around us.
I want 𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙨 to read my posts; what is happening to you is not your fault. You are not weak, you are not unworthy, and you are not to blame. You deserve to live free of abuse. There is help available.
I want 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙨 to read my posts; tell the person you love what you have witnessed in their relationship and that it is not OK to be treated like that. Let them know you are there for them, without judgement.
I want 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙥𝙚𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙨 to read my posts; this is not love. It is the abuse of power and control. Your partner deserves to live a life free from abuse. Take responsibility, understand your why and change.
I want 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙥𝙚𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙨 to read my posts; tell the person you love that what they are doing is not cool. Ask them to seek help to change.
I am not a psychologist, counsellor, or therapist. I do not work in the area of domestic abuse. 𝓘 𝓪𝓶 𝓼𝓲𝓶𝓹𝓵𝔂 𝓪 𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓭𝓪𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓮𝓻’𝓼 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂, 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓶𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓪𝓰𝓮 𝓪𝓽 𝓪 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮."
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